


Fourteen sugars, John

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John always tries to minimize Alex's sugar intake, so when McDonald's screws up an order, it gets fucked up real fast.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic on this site. Please be gentle <3 
> 
> Kudos and comments are nice
> 
> Prompt from a list I saw by TeasTakingOver
> 
> Written on mobile. May have errors.

“Okay, so you know how I try and minimize Alex’s sugar intake? So, I took him to McDonald’s and I asked them too put four sugars in his coffee. I guess they didn’t hear me properly, because guess what? They put FOURTEEN.” John sighed as he explained his current dilemma.

Everyone looked at the floor where a high-on-sugar Alexander Hamilton was rolling around. He had yelled “ROLLING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND” at the least three times, and had tried to do a cartwheel at least four times. 

“You let him drink it?!?” An annoyed Lafayette said. 

"Hey, I didn’t know until we were back at the apartment, which was when I checked the receipt. He was already done , so there was literally nothing I could do.” 

“We were planning to see a movie, too… “ a sad Hercules looked at Alex, who was currently attempting another cartwheel. To the group’s surprise, he actually did it. 

“HOLY FUCK THAT WAS FUN I’LL HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN LATER.” An excited Alex shouted barely able to contain himself. 

This was going to be a long day… 

10:00 am 

Alex had managed to erect a pillow fort out of the couch and a few old blankets. He refused to let anyone but his ‘alliance members’ in, and had apparently declared war on Lafayette and Hercules, yet aligning himself with John.

“IF ANYONE COMES IN HERE, THEY ARE FUCKED.” Alex closed the door to the fort and looked at John with intense eyes. “We need a battle plan.” 

“Or maybe, I don’t know, calm down, and watch a movie?”

Alex looked at John as if he were insane. “Jonathan! This is war we’re talking about! There is no time for the simple pleasures of life!” 

John sighed as Alex went into explicit detail about his plan. 

“We can have troops come in on either side of them, attack from the east and west. We should have our main troop attack north and cut them off at sea.” He smiled triumphantly at his plan.

“Sea?!?! What sea?!?” A very confused John peeked outside making sure Alex had not somehow managed to flood the place from within.

“Haven’t you prepared at all? Fine, I’ll make a map.” He cautiously left the fort, going to find a piece of copy paper and a pen.

John crawled out and looked over at Hercules and Lafayette who already looked fed up. 

“What’s he doing now?” Hercules asked without looking up. 

"Planning a battle strategy. Apparently we’re going to attack your from the north, east, and west, so we can cut you off at sea.”

"Excusez-moi? Sea?” Lafayette looked concerned, when just then Alex came back, with a pencil and paper.  


Alex looked betrayed as he grabbed Johns elbow, and shoved him back into the fort. 

“What the hell are you doing?!?!”

“I’m…uh….spying?”

“Great job, commander! Find anything?” Alex threw John a proud look. 

“We-“ He was cut off by Lafayette opening the door, with one of Hercules white t-shirt’s tied to a stick. 

“We surrender.” Hercules said, preparing himself for the destruction to follow suit.

“HAHAHAHA, we won my dear Laurens!” Alex ran out of his fort, making it fall, and burying John. 

He shot thankful looks to his friends as he grabbed at his phone, and entered the group chat that he and his friends had, including Alex, John, Hercules, Lafayette, Maria, Peggy, Angelica, and Eliza.

LaurensShmorans has entered (10:54)

PegLegThePirate: hi john 

AngieTheAngel: what is up in the hizzity house

SchuyLiza: Jello 

LaurensShmorans: Eliza Peggy please come over Alex has consumed 14 sugars

SchuyLiza: WHY WOULD YOU LET HIM DO THAT

PegLegThePirate: lmao ur screwed 

AngieTheAngel: R I P

LaurensShmorans: MCDONALD’S MESSED UP THE ORDER AND GAVE HIM 14 SUGARS INSTEAD OF 4 PLEASE HELP

LaurensShmorans: PLEASE I THINK HES ABOUT TO START PLAYING JUST DANCE

PegLegThePirate: I’m in I’ll be there in 20 minutes 

SchuyLiza: I’ll be there in five

AngieTheAngel: Don’t mind me, just here in London…

LaurensShmorans: T HAN K Y OU

AngieTheAngel:WTF JOHN YOY WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEDL BETTER NOT Ignore me wtf

LaurensShmorans has signed out (11:03)

PegLegThePirate has signed out

ShculyLiza has signed out

AngieTheAngel:..

AngieTheAngel:wel fuk u 2

11:00 AM 

When Peggy walked in she had gotten quite the treat. Alex was playing just dance on the old PS3, dancing to songs he usually hated, and nailing them. He paused the song, and excitedly greeted her with a quick hug. 

He went back to dancing, and she looked at the tired souls on the couch. “It isn’t even 12:00 and yet you’re pooped?” she asked. 

"Peggy you’ve seen how bad he can get with 7. Now double that and you have our current situation.” John groaned and rubbed his temples. “I can’t believe I have to babysit a grown man.” 

“Very true.” She quickly sat next to Eliza, who was already there just watching Alex. 

“You’re a very good dancer Alex. Have you considered dance classes?” Eliza questioned, eyeing the scene. 

“I DON’T NEED CLASSES I AM ALREADY THE VERY BEST.” Alex had said mid-turn. 

Eliza sighed. 

Shortly after the song ended, John was dragged into a romantic duet, twisting and turning Alex and himself. The song ended with a steamy kiss, which John was more than happily complied, despite Alex’s drunk-on-sugar state.

“Hey, Laf, why don’t you go?” John snickered as he sat down. 

"Yeah it’s awkward when you all just watch me and my glorious moves.” Alex said, tapping his feet. He couldn’t keep still, furiously tapping his feet. 

“Mon Ami, I’d rather not.” Lafayette said disapprovingly.

"I expected that. The French are really bad dancers I’ve he-“

“HEY, FUCK YOU, WE ARE GREAT DANCERS.”

John smirked knowing that saying anything relatively bad about France, will work up the French man. 

He stood up, stretching, and choosing a random song. 

He ended up failing miserably getting a score of about two stars. 

Everyone on the couch laughed. 

“Maybe you should take dance classes Laf,” Peggy giggled at his less than perfect score. 

“I think you did great, babe.” Hercules interjected, despite the pathetic score. 

"Do you really think so?” Lafayette asked. 

"HE WAS STARING AT YOUR ASS THE ENTIRE TIME.” Alex shouted through his laughter. 

“I AM VERY SORRY THESE AMERICAN SONGS ARE, how you say, SHITTY.”

"Lemme show you how it is done.” Alex got up and did the exact same song as Laf, except doing it much better. He ended up with a perfect score.  
They danced for about an hour. 

1:00 pm 

John had microwaved a pizza for everyone to share, and set up a few bottles of Fanta, that Alex was no way in hell allowed to have. 

“Alex, no.” John gave him a stern look. 

"ALEX YES.”

“I said no.”

“that’s not what you were saying in bed last nig-“ 

“NO.”

"Wait, that’s why there was a tear in the couch this morning?!?" Hercules asked in sudden realization.

"Uh no…” John looked down, hiding his shame, as they laughed at him. 

"A tear in the couch? You and Alex must be into some really kinky shit.” Peggy said through her laughter.

"Yes we are, in fact this one ti-“

“So let us pray to our lord and Savior Jesus Christ, hallelujah.” John bowed his head. 

“After last night we are going to hel-“ John kicked him in the calf. 

“ABUSE, HE JUST KICKED ME.” Alex jumped up. 

Everyone but John, was laughing so hard that they had almost dropped their food.E

Alex huffed and excused himself to the bathroom.

“So what exactly did you and Alex do in bed last night?”  
Peggy asked. 

“Peggy!” Eliza scowled.

"Hey, I’m just really curious, at what they could do to open the couch.”

"Peggy you are like four, please don’t.” John begged. 

“I AM NINETEEN, FUCK YOU” Peggy said in response. 

Meanwhile, in the bathroom no one knew that the person they were babysitting, had actually climbed out the window and onto the fire escape.

2:00 pm

"Someone should go check on Alex, he’s been in there too long for comfort.” Eliza said finishing up her slice. 

“That’s probably a good idea, Mon Ami. I will do it.”

Lafayette strode down the hall, and knocked on the bathroom door. “Alex, are you okay?”

No response. 

“Alex?”

No response.

"He is not responding.”

“You think he fell asleep in the bathroom?” John asked looking down the hall.

“Fourteen sugars John.”

"Yeah you’re right. I’ll call him.”  
John took out his phone and called Alex. 

No answer. 

"He didn’t pick up? I’m starting to get worried.” Eliza walked over to Lafayette and knocked on the door. 

“I’ll pick the lock if it’s that big of an issue.”

"Why do you know how to pick a lock?” Eliza glared daggers at her sister.

"I have a lot of free time. You’d be surprised at what I know how to do.” Peggy got down on her knees and eyed the lock. She took out the bobby pin that neatly held her hair back and carefully inserted it into the lock. She fidgeted it around a bit, when the group heard a click. 

“Got it!” she went ahead and opened the door. “Alex what the hell ar- Oh my god.” 

“He’s not in there?!?” Eliza shrieked 

"WHAT?!?” John yelled, rushing over to the bathroom, to see sure enough, an open window, and an empty room. 

"FUCK.” Hercules sighed as he buried his head in his hands. “This is not good. We have to find him. Like right now.”

“It’s only been 15 minutes he couldn’t have gotten far!” John panicked grabbing his car keys and running to the door.

“I’ll search the west side of town with Peggy.” Eliza frantically got out her phone, and tried calling Alex’s phone one more time. No answer.

“I’ll get the North side of town.” Hercules said, reaching for his car keys.

“I will get east.” Lafayette volunteered. 

“That leaves me with south. Call me right away if you find anything.” They all ran towards their cars and branched off looking for the young man. 

Meanwhile, Alex was having a good time. 

Currently he was at a make-up store, helping a teenager pick out what suited her best.

“I feel like this color compliments your eyes.” Alex quickly grabbed a pinkish color.

“You think so? I really dig this orange.”

“That looks nice too. I think I like the pink better.”

"Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.” She happily grabbed it and ran to the cash register. 

Feeling a little better about himself, he bolted out of the store and found himself in a coffee shop, down the street.

He had striked up a conversation with a man by the windowsill. “I’m a principal at Barack Obama High.”  
“Ah, the first president, classic. I’m the United States treasurer.” Alexander said with a giddy smile.  
The man gaped at him. “What?” He managed to sputter out. 

"Yes sir, it’s actually quite a difficult job considering, pretty much most of the numbers are decided by me, which is stressful as fuck. And, don’t even get me started with my coworkers.” Alex continuously ranted about his job. That’s probably why he found himself talking to a bunch of high school students about it. 

"Yeah, it’s pretty great, but it’s like a big responsibility.” Alex explained rapidly pacing the stage.

"Standing in front of the president, is stressful and all, but he’s a pretty cool dude. Any questions?”

A girl with frizzy brown hair raised her hand. 

"Yes, young lady?”

"Why is the president cool?” she asked. The students in the hall giggled, awaiting response.

"You may not believe me, but he is. We met before he was elected, at a debate. Bought me coffee, and even the little plush he won at a claw game.”

Another kid raised his hand. 

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if you liked your coworkers?”

"Yeah, most of them are pretty solid, but there’s this one guy who will never leave me alone. He’s always like, ‘still here? Thought you’d be gone after your performance.’ and it’s annoying. I won’t say any names, but he’s a jerk.” ‘Fuck you, Jefferson.’ Alex thought. “I’ll take one more question.

“Do you play Pokemon Go?” One kid shouted from the back. 

“Yes. I have this rivalry with one of my Coworkers, who by the way took over the gym at the Walmart, which had been established as my gym.”

“Wait, you’re WhammyHammy?!?” A student who looked to be a junior looked up at him an awe. “WE’RE NOT WORTHY.”

Soon the cafeteria was chanting that over and over again. 

He looked at his watch, and it said 2:30. That was longer then he intended to say.

"Well, I gotta blast. Thanks for the worship. Had fun talking, don’t do drugs. Bye.” He jumped off the stage and cartwheeled out the auditorium doors, ignoring the dozens of hands that were left. He managed to get a taxi, and asked to go to the nearest Target. 

Meanwhile, his friends were trying their hardest to find him.

LaurensShmorens has entered 2:34 pm

LaurensShmorans: Anything????

PegLegThePirate: No. Eliza’s still driving and im back at the apartment seeing if he comes back. 

LaurensShmorans: That’s probably a good idea

AngieTheAngel: wait WTF is going on

AngieTheAngel: u only use goodgrammar when something bad is happening 

LaurensShmorans: Alex climbed out the fire escape, and now we can’t find him. 

AngieTheAngel: Well, Fuck that’s pretty bad. 

AngieTheAngel: good luck

FlyingFrenchie: WAIT JOHN I FOUND SOMETHING

LaurensShmorans: THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TELL ME.  
FlyingFrenchie: READ THIS ARTICLE 

FlyingFrenchie:AlexanderHamiltonsSecretAffairWithThomasJefferson.article.thiswebsiteisfake.com

LaurensShmorans: “After talking to students at Barack Obama high school, there is ground to believe there is unknown affair between Alexander Hamilton, US treasurer, and Thomas Jefferson, Virginia’s senator.”

FlyingFrenchie: “In this motivational speech he said ‘…there’s one guy who will never me alone. He’s always like ‘Still here after your performance?’ After an interview with George King, the vice president, says “He’s talking about Jefferson, for sure. Those two go at it A LOT.” We are currently trying to learn more about the romantic accusations.”

AngieTheAngel: WHAT IM CRYING

AngieTheAngel: WAIT DO YOU THINK THEIRS FANFICTION

PegLegThePirate: THERE IS IM DEAD

PegLegThePirate: fakeyfakewebsite.com/Forbidden-Office-Love-AlexanderHamilton-x-ThomasJefferson/

FlyingFrench:O M G

LaurensShmorans:… 

LaurensShmorans: I’m not reading that

AngieTheAngel: IM READING IT RIGHT NOW OMG

AngieTheAngel: THIS IS GREAT

LaurensShmorans: Okay so we know he was at the high school 

LaurensShmorans: Everyone go look there 

LaurensShmorans has signed off (2:50 pm) 

John furiously drove to the high school, pulling up at it’s brick columns. 

He saw several students waiting for there parents and rolled down his window. 

“Excuse me!” He called out to one of them. “Have you seen Alexander Hamilton by chance?”

A girl looked up from her notebook. “He got into a taxi after jumping off the stage, and cartwheeling out the door.” She giggled fondly at the memory. 

“Did you hear where he was going?”

“Not exactly but it started with a T.”

“Thanks. Have a good day.”

John drove off not before sending everyone to check places that started with a T. 

Alex had been in Target for about ten minutes, running around and causing havoc. He had rearranged letters on signs, and prices on items. He was a sales associates worst nightmare.

Currently he was running to the cosmetics section after  
swapping the price of children’s makeup with a television set, when he ran into a familiar face. 

It was the girl from the makeup shop, wearing the new lipstick they had picked out together.

She smiled and motioned him over. He walked over, and she hugged him. Hamilton didn’t even know her that well, but here they were. 

“Hey you! I didn’t quite catch your name?”

Alex quickly bowed. Too quick, because he fell over. 

“Alexander Hamilton, how do you do?” he said from the floor. 

She giggled before curtsying. “My names Martha. Martha Laurens.”

“I know a guy whose last name is Laurens.” 

“I don’t doubt it. Laurens is a pretty common name.” 

“Guess so. Do you need help with your fashion choices again?” He still hadn’t gotten up. 

“Yes. Actually, I need help decorating my room. I’m redoing it.” 

"Oh my- Say no more.” He sprinted towards the furniture, with Martha following. 

Alex had bombarded her with questions, asking about her paint colors, and personal preferences. He got a good feel for her tastes. Currently they were in the process of selecting a desk, when Alex decided to let her pick a desk, and he go pick a lamp that matched. He notified Martha, and ran off. 

Just then a flustered out of breath John stepped in the isle. Martha smiled at her brother.

John smiled back, and hugged his sister.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. 

"Picking out a desk with a friend. He’s off picking out a lamp.”

"He?” John questioned protectively.

"God John. He’s just a friend.”

"Uh huh.”

“So what are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for my friend. He’s high on sugar right now, so he’s unpredictable. We don’t want him to do anything he’ll regret.”

"You’re such a good friend!” Martha gushed. “Why Target may I ask?”

"All we know is that he’s in a place that starts with T. Well, have fun.”

"Good luck!” John turned out the isle, as Martha waved. She turned back to the desks, and picked out a modern hardwood, and went to find Alex. 

LaurensShmorans has entered 3:30pm

LaurensShmorans: Anything?!?! 

PegLegThePirate: I forgot to look

PegLegThePirate: I’m reading HamiltonxJefferson

AngieTheAngel: U 2?

FlyingFrenchie: Nothing. I’ve searched TJ-Max, T-Mobile, and about every Thai place I could find. 

SchuyLiza: I looked at every Toyota dealership in town. 

IFuckedYourMom: Every place with The in the name I checked. 

LaurensShmorans: I checked all the Target’s in town. 

SchuyLiza: Shoot

LaurensShmorans: where the hell is he I’m worried guys

SchuyLiza: Don’t worry he’ll be back 

PegLegThePirate: I think the best thing to do right now is to go back to the apartment and wait till he gets back by himself 

PegLegThePirate: If he isn’t back by tommorow we’ll call the police 

FlyingFrenchie: oui, I think that’s a good idea Mon Ami 

LaurensShmorans: okay… I’ll meet you all there

LaurensShmorans:Bye

LaurensShmorans has signed out (3:45 pm) 

John sighed in defeat and pulled out of the parking lot. He pulled onto the high way, and drove back to the apartment. When he opened the door everyone else was already resting on the couch with messed up hair, and tired looks on their faces. 

“We’ve decided to camp out in case he comes back.” Peggy smiled. “How about we play a board game? You know to get our mind off things.”

Everyone agreed and was soon playing a nice game of Cards Against Humanity.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Martha and Alex were at target for two hours. They had picked a more modern look for the room and most of the stuff was arriving tomorrow. 

For dinner, they found a quiet little burger shack and had placed orders. 

Alex fidgeted, unable to sit still. Martha sipped her Sprite, when she grew a big smile.

“Wanna come over so I can do your makeup?” She asked excitedly. 

Alex grinned too. “Sure! Make me a pretty girl, okay?”

Martha giggled. 

That’s how he found himself in the Laurens’ household, sitting on Martha’s bed while she puts a layer of foundation on his skin.

Alex had never been too the Laurens' house, due to Johns “Asshole father, who is also a huge cunt.”

It probably explains why he didn’t recognize it. 

The girl was now moving on to concealer, placing it heavily under his eyes. 

By the end of it, Alex could say he had never looked better in his life. 

His usually greasy, tired looking skin looked and felt smooth to the touch. She had given him a smokey eye, with a perfect winged line. It looked like he had cheekbones not there before (Martha said it was called contour. He has to look it up later) and glowing cheeks. To top it all off, he was wearing the pink lipstick they had chose together. Martha was wearing it too- it was a signal of their new found friendship. She even scrawled her number on his arm with eye-liner.

"Dang..." he checked himself out. "You have real talent."

Martha blushed. "T-Thanks. My father never notices."

Alex flashed her a cheesy smile. 

It was about 8:00 pm, when Alex started feeling tired. 

His restlessness from earlier was gone- he was more tired than he’d ever been in his life. 

"I’m tired.” He yawned. “I think I should head back to my apartment.”

"Yeah, it’s getting pretty late. My dad is going to come home soon.” She shuddered. “Come on I’ll drive you.”

Alex followed her into her old Nissan. He scrawled down his address before settling into a peaceful sleep. 

When Martha pulled up to the apartments she recognized it immediately. ‘This is John’s building!’ I’ll say hi while I’m here.’ 

She shook the man’s shoulder.

Nothing. 

“Alex! Wake up!” 

Nothing.

'He’s out cold. I’ll see if he has any room mates that can help with him.’ She thought. 

She looked at the piece of paper in her hands. Apartment #308

She got into the elevator and hummed a little tune until she got there. She quickly found the room she was looking for and knocked. 

It took a couple seconds but someone answered. John smiled and pulled her into a hug. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, ruffling his sisters hair.

She looked extremely confused. “I thought this was Alex’s apartment?” 

Everyone’s ears perked.

“Alex?!?” John questioned.

“Yeah, Alexander Hamilton. You know him?” 

“Yes! Do you know where he is?!?” John asked frantically.

“Uh… he’s in my car-“

Before the poor girl could finish her sentence her brother ran down the stairs and into the parking lot. 

After some scanning he found her car, and woah and behold, Alex was sleeping hazily in the front seat. 

John had never wanted to hug him more than he did then. Never wanted to kiss him more. Never wanted to hold him more. But most of all, he wanted to slap him. John smiled, happy the man was alive.

Eventually, his sister came down and unlocked her car. John didn’t slap Alex, surprisingly. He instead carried him princess style, back to the apartment. 

Everyone cheered when they say John lay him down on the floor. (“Thank God.” “Jesus Christ, finally!” “Where was he, Mon Ami.” “Golly, took him long enough” “Why is wearing make up?”)

When asked, Martha told them everything from when they had met at the makeup store, to going back to her house. At the end of it all, more than anything, John looked pissed.

“You mean to tell me he was less than 40 feet away from me?”

“Yup.” Martha giggled.

“And I didn’t know.” John glared at his sister. “No. You didn’t tell me. You witch!”

Martha did her best witch cackle before saying goodbye.

“Thank god that’s over.” Hercules groaned rubbing his temples.

“Thank God he’s safe.” Eliza rubbed her fingers through his hair.

"Thank god he’s asleep.” Laf giggled.

“I think we all need sleep.” Peggy yawned rubbing her eyes. 

“You’re probably right. Good night everyone. You figure out sleep arrangements, you’re big kids.”

John picked up Alex and carried him into their bed he tucked Alex in, and nuzzled beside him. He smirked and closed his eyes. Slowly, but surely John had fell in a comfortable, lazy sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> There it is! I feel like it sucked but hey you just gotta go for it right?
> 
> (I'm fully aware this is not what sugar does to people, but we can all pretend. Capiche?


End file.
